By Alvin

We live and interact with people on a daily basis. At work or at school, we often have to collaborate with others, be it working with a partner or in teams. As a result, clashes in viewpoints or working styles may arise. 

Once, I was shocked to realize that I had become very competitive – in the midst of a clash in opinions – even when there was not a need to. This happened when I was working on a project with my colleague. We had to brainstorm ideas and organize some activities for a company event. However, my colleague rejected each and every of my ideas which made me really fed up. This ignited the competitive streak in me, I was bent on suggesting better ideas to prove that I am superior to him and his concepts and thinking were not as logical as mine. I became more and more insistent that he should follow my ideas. 

The more competitive I was, the more self-focused I became. And this led to a neglect of my other administrative duties and responsibilities. Furthermore, being irritated by the whole episode, I even complained about the matter to my friend. At the end of the day, not only did I not feel better about myself and the situation, the project did not end well. The outcome was a working relationship turned sour. 

One day on my way to work, as I was listening to Jen Chen Buddhism Dharma Teacher, Reverend Chen Ming-An’s talk from a CD, something he said struck me: 

As Buddhist disciples, while we have good intentions in wanting to contribute and help out at the Buddhist Centre, sometimes these good thoughts turn into frustrations when we do not get to see our expected results from our contributions or when the outcomes do not match our expectations.

For example, not getting any acknowledgement or recognition after we felt that we were a big help to others or others disagreeing with our comments which we deemed as valuable advice. 

His sharing gave me a wake up call! When I first started working in my company, my goals were to learn as much as I can, to have a positive attitude towards work and my colleagues. Yet when I felt that I was not getting any recognition from my colleagues, I became increasingly competitive and unknowingly, my actions at work manifested in a different direction from my original goals. 

Reflecting on that incident, I was too caught up in my own thinking and ideas. I lost my self-awareness, felt trapped to my thoughts and habits, and turned into an ultra competitive person. And yet, at that moment, I had thought that it was the right thing to do! 

From this experience, I realised that it is very important to be aware of our own thoughts. As a very apt phrase from Reverend Chen’s book shares: 

“We always measure others’ attitudes or how others treat us, but we never see ourselves as clearly.”

When we lose our inner compass, we might think that we are on the right track – even when we are not. Given, we should be more mindful, and never underestimate even the smallest inner thought!

By Ee Peng

It’s been a really long time since I had time to sit down properly and write a diary or reflection, and “oh May gosh!” (pun intended), almost half of 2016 is gone just like that… How time flies~~

A lot had happened in the past 2 years, especially during my final year in university. This was when I slogged really hard for that ‘piece of paper’, also known as a ‘ticket to a better career.’ At times, it was so tough that I felt like an imprisoned bird, depressed and deprived of freedom and whatever I was studying became meaningless to me.  

Unlike what many would imagine school life to be, something that is very carefree, enjoyable and worry-free, what I experienced in the last milestone of my education journey was the exact opposite, especially in my graduating year, due mainly to my horrible Final Year Project experience! Of course, this could have been a result of many bad decisions on my part and other factors, but fortunately, I had a very supportive family and group of friends who stood by me throughout, and the Buddhadharma to guide me and steer me back to the right path whenever I strayed off. Otherwise, I would not have made it through one of the toughest times ( so far) in my life.

Looking back to my student days, I feel really thankful and relieved that I got to know and learn the Buddha’s teachings since secondary school. Initially, I had been very reluctant to go to the Buddhist centre, reasons for which I cannot recall exactly, but were probably along the lines of it being a very serious place filled with serious people, and not my idea of a fun place where I can hang out, relax and de-stress. But how wrong I was then! Thankfully, my father and Aunt (Rui Cong), who introduced Jen Chen Buddhism to me, persisted, and eventually I began my journey in practising Jen Chen Buddhism, ever since I joined the guitar class that we had back then. (My aunt sure knows my soft spot for music >p< haha)

Overtime, as I grew up and ploughed through my studies, I started to understand Jen Chen Buddhism better and grew to be a staunch Buddhist. This was because as I started picking up some of the teachings, I realised that Jen Chen Buddhism is a religion that not only educate us of the teachings of the Buddha (佛学), but also advocates the practising and application of these teachings in our daily lives to correct our actions, speech and thoughts (学佛). This is something which I find very meaningful and that will benefit many people greatly, especially in this complicated society and world of ours today, plagued by greed, anger and ignorance.

The lessons I learnt here had also benefitted me greatly both in life and in school. Some lessons learnt include how to be a more considerate and tactful person, sensitive to the needs of others, without which who knows how many people’s toes (and landmines) i would had unknowingly stepped on over the years, knowing how ‘blur’ and direct I can be sometimes! Going for meditation classes has also made me a calmer person, and enable me to control my thoughts and emotions better, things which I feel have made me more matured and understanding in my thinking. 

Just really thankful that Jen Chen Buddhism is still close to heart. Hope to share more in future reflections. 

Be with Buddha!

By Angela Khew

Teaching our own kids is never easy – we tend to have certain expectations of them, and we may unknowingly exert excessive pressure on them to meet our expectations. When there is excessive pressure, tension arises and both parties i.e. parents and kids will experience frustration and unhappiness.

Being a Buddhist and learning Buddhism are the greatest gifts of my life. Through learning Buddhism and cultivation, I am taught to have more self-awareness. With this self-awareness, I am more aware of my arising thoughts. When I am more aware of my arising thoughts, I am able to observe my mind more clearly and discontinue any thoughts that are unwholesome e.g. angry thoughts. This is important when coaching my kids because I can observe arising angry thoughts, cease them, and not allow them to intensify and affect my emotions and behaviours. With better control of my mind, I am calmer and able to understand situations and things with better clarity. Hence, I am able to come up with better ways to help my kids understand concepts and topics they were previously less familiar with.

When interacting with our family members or people that are close to us, we tend to have heightened expectations, and when these expectations are not met, we will be disappointed. Such expectations and disappointment will cause us to be trapped in our own emotions, which will cause us to lose our awareness. In Buddhism, we are taught “离情尚义”, which means we need to emotionally distant ourselves from the situation or person, in order to have better judgment and wisdom to handle the issue. Applying this learning to coaching my kids, if I am not emotionally attached to the situation (expectations I had) or my kids, I will be more rational and objective in dealing with issues pertaining to my kids’ studies. With greater awareness, and a calmer and more rational mind, it becomes easier for me to inject humour into my coaching. This is important because kids get bored easily. To motivate them and create stronger impressions of what they have studied, cracking jokes and lightening up the situation are useful methods to sustain my kids’ interests in doing their homework and revision.

In summary, what we have learnt in Buddhism can be applied in our day-to-day lives, including the coaching of kids. It is important that we have self-awareness to observe our arising thoughts, discontinue the unwholesome ones, and have a calmer mind. With greater self-awareness, we are able to emotionally distant ourselves from whatever situations or issues that we face. This will allow us to see things more clearly and be more rational. Hence, when it comes to coaching kids, we will be able to inject humour at the appropriate time to motivate our kids to study and learn better. The benefits of cultivating self-awareness are tremendous.

By 菊英

Before practising Buddhism, I was often very moody, viewing every issue too seriously, not being able let go of things, and had too much worries and concerns. Even after taking refuge, I continued to live life muddle-headedly.  For the sake of living necessities, I started to work. At my workplace, I saw various gossiping, trouble-making and the vicissitudes of human life. Only then did I begin to experience the benefits of Buddhadharma, as only when we apply the Buddhadharma in our daily lives that it can help us leave our sufferings and attain happiness, allowing us to remain unaffected by external conditions and environment.

Nowadays, when faced with adverse situations, my mind is more calm and stable. I am no longer as fearful and terrified as before, and I can act rationally in handling matters. Venerable Master taught us that in practising Buddhism we have to unfold our wisdom and seek liberation; for only then we can truly benefit our lives. If we can liberate ourselves from afflictions in the midst of our living, we have taken a step forward in the path of liberation.