By Kaisen
At some point of time in our lives, we would probably have heard someone telling us that we are responsible for our own success, happiness and cultivation. These are the things that we ought to constantly persist and apply ourselves to, because while other people can help us, they can’t do it for us. The kind people around us can at the very most, always be there to teach, encourage, remind and mentor us. Ultimately, it is still up to ourselves to put in genuine effort and make the good stuff happen.
If the above made sense to you, then have you ever wondered why are there so many people who are determined to constantly demand themselves to better their lives and cultivation, but unwittingly allow others to take control of their emotions? Just think about the times other people have made us felt a certain way. Why do we earnestly endeavour to rely on ourselves when it comes to performing better at school or work, developing more fulfilling relationships and cultivating with greater diligence, yet seem less inclined to rely on ourselves to be the master of our emotions? It would take some of us many years before we realized that we have spent a significant part of our lives feeling and reacting to what others think, expect and say about us. It’s almost as if we were born to live lives that are governed by the thoughts and behaviour of others. Or as I sometimes call it – a self-imposed slave for masters of no value (if you are confused by that, please allow me to save the explanation for another time). If we would only be concerned more about how to benefit others and less about how we are perceived in their minds, which we have no control of anyway, our lives would be a whole lot simpler and probably happier.
The next time your emotions are affected by others, take a deep breath and try to notice that as long they are not physically harming you, you are unharmed! Try not to harm yourself further.